Sunday, December 22, 2013

Who was that crazy lady at church today with her hands upturned?

What? Who, me? Ummmmm, maybe.

I've been blessed with so many Graces and Gifts this year.  I pray that each and every one could have them, or even better ones!  They don't always make 'sense' to me, because I have an earthly mind and body, but I strive to place my spirit in Him (and my body and mind.....but especially my spirit, my essence), which is where I think these Gifts are given.  Tonight, I was blessed with one of those moments.

One of the communion songs (hymn? maybe....) was "Lord, I need you"; you may have heard it before as it's a popular contemporary Christian song by Catholic musical artist, Matt Maher. I love that song, and I can truly pray it while singing.  I could feel the Holy Spirit moving in me as I received the Body of Christ, the Eucharist, and I returned to my pew.  As I knelt to pray, I moved my hands towards each other to clasp them in a prayerful posture as usual.  However, that didn't exactly happen. I couldn't move my hands together, and they remained quite a bit apart, like a magnet you can't force together because of their same 'attraction' properties.  My hands opened and upturned as I knelt in prayer.  I lifted my face towards the light that I felt on my face. (
I pray with my eyes closed and facing down; not because I'm holy, but because I'm easily distracted.)
It felt like a sunbeam, warm and gentle, welcoming and peaceful.  I felt the warmth not only on my face, but in my heart.  For a moment, I had to open my eyes to see where this spotlight was coming from; the sun had already gone down, and the only lights were those overhead, unchanging from the beginning of Mass until the end.  I closed my eyes, and returned to prayer.  Soon, too soon, it was time to move on the closing prayers and song. I spoke to the priest as we departed, and then, I practically raced across the street to the Adoration Chapel we are so blessed to have.  I knelt in the pew nearest to the Body of Christ, and prayed.  I wanted that Grace, that peace, to remain in my heart for as long as possible.  Thank you Lord, for those moments, and I pray to have more of those moments, perhaps, someday, every moment of every day.  I pray for you to have those too.

If you think I was crazy for having my hands (not arms) lifted up in prayer.....I want to be that crazy. It occurred to me that maybe my hands were upturned in prayer or maybe I was receiving God's Graces, or maybe, God had given me something to hold in my hands. It did almost feel like I was holding........something.  For the record, many times when I'm praying, whether it's nighttime, daytime, at Mass, even when my eyes are closed, I can 'see' light.  It doesn't happen unless I'm praying, and it happens when there is no light anywhere; I can have my nighttime mask on, which blocks all light.
~~~~~~
Lord, I come, I confess, Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart, You're the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You, Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness, Oh God, how I need You

Where sin runs deep, Your grace is more, Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are, Lord, I am free, Holiness is Christ in me

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You, Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness, Oh God, how I need You

Teach my song to rise to You, When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You, Jesus, You're my hope and stay

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You, Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness, Oh God, how I need You

You're my one defense, my righteousness, Oh God, how I need You
My one defense, my righteousness, Oh God, how I need You

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