Yet
another lesson in Humility this weekend, and I loved it! I can be stubborn, and it’s very hard for me
to ask for forgiveness, whether I’m right or wrong in my stance, and admit it
when I am truly wrong. But it doesn't matter who was right and who was wrong, or by how much each of us bears
responsibility. I was willing to take it
on, to bear the burden, in order to have peace in the family. If only I had known that by doing so, God
instead took it on Himself for me. I think going to Reconciliation many times over the past few months prepared me; I have sinned greatly against the Lord during my life, and He has forgiven me and loved me. If the One I've hurt most by my mistakes can accept, love and forgive me, asking others who are human like I am isn't quite as difficult, but only with His Grace.
Things
have been awkward with my in-laws for some time. I won’t get into the reasons why, but there
has been friction. I accept my
responsibility in that, and am blessed enough to have a supportive husband. I know it’s been hard for him. He had offered many times to talk to his
family, but I didn’t want to create further tension, especially between him and
them.
The
tension has bothered me for a long time, and it hasn’t always been that way,
but it has been that way for too long. I
didn’t ever know how to fix it, even though I wanted to. I just avoided the situations, so as not to
get hurt, or hurt my husband, or cause more tension. That was my solution for too long, but it was
all I could manage at the time.
As you
might see from a previous post, I had been praying for humility. I finally had the grace and opportunity this
weekend to use it again. I was so nervous and scared. What do I say? What do I do? I talked to my husband about it, and he said
he supported me in whatever I decided, even if it wasn’t to make up with his
family. I visited the local Catholic
bookstore, and found some St. Elizabeth Ann Seton medals, as well as prayer
cards for her. I had googled while I was
at the store, and she came up as the patron saint of in-law troubles. We also had some rosaries that had belonged
to my mother-in-law, and I wanted to make sure that they also had some, and if
they didn’t, offer the rosaries to them as well.
On the way
to the family gathering, I prayed the Rosary, with the Joyful Mysteries. The recording on the Laudate app included
scriptures and intentions for humility, love, peace. I finished the prayer right as I pulled into
the parking lot. Deep breath! I felt the
tension when I arrived; fortunately, there were many other family members there
so it wasn’t so obvious. I waited until
I thought I had the right moment. I asked to talk to his sisters alone. I had
no idea what I was going to say, so I started out first by giving them the
cards and medals. After that, I looked
at them, and asked their forgiveness. I’m
sure that they didn’t expect this at all.
I didn’t want to rehash anything or point fingers; I was more than
willing to take the blame, so long as we could move forward.
I was
received with such love from my sisters-in-law, and forgiveness. I didn’t
expect it, but they also offered their apologies to me, which of course I
accepted. We had a great conversation
for quite awhile, amidst tears and hugs.
I don’t remember what I said, but He gave me the words I needed. Thank
you Holy Spirit! God is so great! They
also shared with me, which was amazing and unexpected. I’m happy to say that we have started to heal
and move forward, which is good for all of us.
I still
had some challenges left. My
brother-in-law’s wife was more difficult for me to approach. She is an amazing person, but we might be too
much alike in some ways, and too different in other ways, and friction
results. Well, the Catholics in our
family went onto Mass, and I prayed about how to talk to her. During Mass, He provided me with the answer:
both me and my husband could talk to her and her husband (my husband’s
brother). But when? Well, opportunity didn’t take long to present
itself. They were taking things back to
their hotel room, and I had the opportunity to help carry something. My husband
came along, and I just dived right in at the first moment that was
appropriate. I think I caught her 100%
off guard. Even though she isn’t
Catholic, she was thankful for the medal and card. We actually all hugged; again, I was shocked
by how well it went. Again, I didn’t
need or want an apology from her, but during her shock, she still managed to
give it. It was only through the Grace of God all of this happened. I couldn’t have done this without Him. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without
Him. I’ve been a person who was without
Him for too long, and this truly feels miraculous.
I still
have one sister-in-law to go, and I don’t know when I’ll see her again. I’m figuring that one out, and I”ll let you
know how it goes. Please keep us in your
prayers. I will pray for you!
Thank you,
Holy Spirit, Lord Jesus, our Father, for the Graces You gave me so that I could
accomplish this with Your Help.
