I've had some bad days in my life, a few in the past year. Getting older is complicated! :) Sometimes, just living is complicated. I can't see today, and I surely can't see tomorrow. It's like a black curtain is pulled over my eyes, over my heart, and the pain of the darkness is unbearable. I don't know how to get through it. I had one of those nights recently. It was hard. It was painful. It was darkness...not just for me, but for my husband who helped see me through it. It was bad. But even when I was hurting, I was praying inside...please God, help me, help my husband. I didn't give up, even though it might have seemed like it on the outside. This was a difficult time for me, and it was, sadly but now gladly, the first time I've really prayed deeply in the middle of the raging storm. I know how easy it would have been to slip, to give in, to the pain and the darkness. I've lived through it before, not because of my own weakness, but because it's an illness I've struggled with my entire life. I knew this wasn't the illness like it has been before, but it reminded me so much of it. I only survived before because of the Grace and Hand of God, even though I didn't know Him at the time like I do now. (continued............)
Tomorrow came. It wasn't perfect, but it wasn't yesterday, either. The next tomorrow came. And the day dawned brightly. Even in the storm, I tried to praise Him and thank Him. Sometimes, I think we find it easier to 'accept' the darkness, the bad times, than to accept the light and the good times. But God knows that! He knows all parts of us. He created us, and knows our weaknesses and shortcomings even better than we do. But He also knows our hearts, our intentions, our desires, better than we do. Combine the two, and you have us: God created, God chosen, human beings. He created perfection, we succumb to weakness. But His Love for us never changes. Ever.
I've found that the more I expect amazing things, the more I receive them. Maybe those amazing things were going to be there all along, and always have been, and my eyes weren't open to them like they should be. God takes such good care of me; while some gifts I receive may not be important to God, or anyone else, they enhance my life, big things or small things; if it matters to me, it matters to Him. Nothing happens in this world that He isn't aware of. All good things come from God, be it the sunshine on your face, the chocolate dessert that you've been dreaming of (and it's free!), the parking spot next to the front door of the store, the phone call from a friend, a stranger holding open a door. Every good thing! Sometimes, the graces of the smaller blessings I receive are just an 'intro' to great blessings that will come later! There is a reason behind each one, even if I'm not privy to it. I'm so thankful when I'm able to share these gifts with others; I'm not turning down the gift, but re-gifting it to someone else who needs it. I appreciate and love the gift from God so much, that I have to give it someone else, even if they may not realize why, or even what, the gift is. Perhaps someone else out there is praying for something only I can give to her, and by God's Grace, I do. GLORIA! This week has been an abundance of glory in small earthly things. God may not be concerned about my entertainment or social activities. But thanks be to Him who is concerned about my happiness, and has blessed me with an abundance of gifts. Praise God from whom all blessings flow! Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost!
The more I expect 'amazing' and appreciate the amazing in every day things, the more He gives me. When I let go of the worry and hand it to Him, that which He had under control anyway, the more He graces me. It's all already in God's Hands. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, all your mind, all your soul. I sin, I make mistakes, and think that I don't deserve His Graces; I reject them before He even gives them to me!
(This picture was posted on Facebook just as I finished writing this post........whose timing is this? His, of course! Amen!)
Father, thank You for all the Blessings You give us, big and small. Help us to remember to appreciate the good in all things, even when it's the neighbor mowing underneath my window, because I have the gift of hearing, and the blessing of being in a beautiful climate. Help us to share these blessings with others, and make it known to them that it was You who from all Goodness comes. Thank you, oh my Lord, for getting me through the recent storm of my heart and soul, and making Yourself visible in my heart when I couldn't see anything but darkness.
Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not rely on your own insight.
6 In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
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