Make a change.........

Ask yourself today: do I want to be the same person that I was yesterday, or is there a way, even in a small way, I can improve and be better? Smile that extra smile at a stranger, pray one more prayer, clean just a little longer, meditate a bit more, walk one block or parking spot more, hold the door open for one more person, thank Him for one more thing. 

And then add that to your daily routine. Improve every day, somehow, someway. Add in a weekly note or call to different people to keep in touch, to check in. Keep notes, or keep track, and then in one week, one month, one year, look back and see how far you've come, when it will probably feel like you were standing still. The 'constant' will be you. The change will be within.  Peace.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.”So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 2 Cor 12:9

2 Corinthians 12

I recently attended a Healing/Charismatic Mass in our diocese. It's the 4th or 5th one I've attended, the first being last November.  I could write about this Mass, and how different it is than the parish Masses I attend during the week, and on Sundays.  I will, later on.  But I will instead share with you, the best I can with the talents God has given me, what happened at the end of this Mass, that showed me again how the Holy Spirit touches us and makes Himself known to us. (click to read more)

SPOILER alert! Choose the light!

That's a phrase we see or hear nowadays, when people are about to allude to something that gives away the ending.  There have been a *few* times when I was reading a book that I was struggling to get into, and I did skip to the end to see if the ending was worth it, worth sludging through the rest of the book.

Well, I've got a great spoiler alert for you............

God wins! No matter how bad things are going personally, or in the world as a whole, the ending will be spectacular.  We have the choice to be part of the glorious ending, or we can choose the one that ends in darkness. I'm choosing the LIGHT!

I look around and see the demise of our communities, cities, countries, and the world.  The seemingly smaller things are like small arrows, wounding but not killing the Body of Christ, of which we are members.  It's easy to despair about the state of our world, with so many attacks against God, against the Faith, against all Christians, attacks both small and large, obvious or insidious (I think there are more that are this way).  The attacks on religious freedoms, on marriage, on families.  Society is trying to force us to accept and drink the poison it considers normal.  There are so many things, I can't even begin to detail them here.  I hope one day we'll be able to look back and while seeing the horrors that were the norms during this time, that we are able to rejoice that the world was set right.

I used to worry more about things; I still do worry about my sons.  But knowing the ending helps a lot.  As long as I stay in a state of Grace, remain right with the Lord, I know what my ending will be.  Troubles will still come along, but knowing that my loved ones are basking in the Glory of God's Love helps me a lot when losing a loved one.  I know it will get harder.  It might be sooner rather than later. I pray that I remain confident in God's ending no matter when it happens.  But when I returned to God and the Faith a year and a half ago, I quit being scared to die. I don't *want* to die; I think I have a lot left to do for Him.

I'm back!

Hey y'all!
I'll be back to posting on a more regular basis now that I've returned from our family vacation in the South.  We had just an amazing, joy filled time. I'm so thankful to God for His Blessings, especially of my amazing husband and kids, the safe travels for all of us and those who were also traveling to and from the same events we attended (ACRAs).  God's Love and Graces are so amazing, wondrous
and abundant. God is SO great and awesome! Thank you Lord!

Prayer for travelers over the holiday

Father,
Please hear our prayers for all those traveling during this busy holiday weekend in the United States.  We send up all our prayers to You for safety for all those traveling, especially those with families.  We ask St. Christopher to pray for us, and bring our petitions to You, oh God Almighty Father. You are Amazing and Powerful, and we know You hear our prayers.  We pray for those that have accidents, that You keep them healthy and safe.  Lord, we also pray for those that are injured this coming weekend, that You may guide them to health.  Please, oh Consoler, be with those who will be in need of such consolation this weekend, that Your Spirit ease their hearts, and fill them with Your Love.   May they know Your Mercy and Love.

Oh God, our beloved and perfect Creator, I offer up to you any and all graces that I receive from attending Mass this week, for those travelers in need of Your Mercy and Love, whether by their own neglect, or their deaths or injuries during travel.  Surround them with others who will share Your Love and Mercy.  Thank you, O Great One, for the freedom that we have to travel where we need or want to go this weekend.  We thank you for keeping us safe, for You are Love beyond all things.  We praise You, God, our only need. We love You; we want to glorify You in all things, great and small.

Amen, Alleluia, Amen!
(cmg 5-20-14)




Prayer to Saint Christopher, Patron Saint of Travelers, for
St. Christopher's Protection

Dear Saint Christopher,
protect me today
in all my travels
along the road's way.
Give your warning sign
if danger is near
so that I may stop
while the path is clear.
Be at my window
and direct me through
when the vision blurs
From out of the blue.
Carry me safely
to my destined place,
like you carried Christ
in your close embrace.
Amen.
http://www.toweringpines.com/stchristopher.html

I AM

I was so honored and pleased to be able to attend Mass on the feast day of my Confirmation Saint, St. Dymphna, this week.  I was blessed to be able to attend at one of the most memorable parishes of my youth, and my maternal grandmother's parish when she was alive.  My mom grew up across the street from this parish.  Just walking in, the incense smell took me back to my youth, even though as a youth I didn't appreciate the early morning Mass or rosaries. (Still not a morning person!)

Thursday's Gospel reading was:

Gospel John 13:16-20

When Jesus had washed the disciples’ feet, he said to them:

“Amen, amen, I say to you, no slave is greater than his master

nor any messenger greater than the one who sent him.

If you understand this, blessed are you if you do it.

I am not speaking of all of you.

I know those whom I have chosen.

But so that the Scripture might be fulfilled,

The one who ate my food has raised his heel against me.

From now on I am telling you before it happens,

so that when it happens you may believe that I AM. 

Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever receives the one I send

receives me, and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me.”

The brief homily by Father Nick emphasized an important point. Jesus said that "I AM."  After the short weekday Mass, I returned across the street to my car in the parking lot, and began to make my way back to my mom's house for lunch. (I was visiting her another city a few hours away from my home.)  The radio was playing as I started the car, and guess what song it was?

"I AM"!!  WOW!  I love how these God-incidences (not coincidences) happen and give me such peace and joy.

Here is another of my favorite 'I Am' songs as well:

Amen, amen, amen! All joys and praises to our God, our Savior!

Be our protection against the wickedness and snares......

UPDATE!! The event was CANCELED! It was not only removed from campus, it was not held at all.  Claims are that they held it at a restaurant, but a report from a restaurant employee said that they were only sitting at the bar drinking. AMEN!!!! Original post: Tonight, a student group will be hosting a 'black mass' by a satanic group. They are claiming it is an informational event, but it is truly a persecution not only of Catholics, but of all Christians everywhere.  They are being allowed not only to mock, but desecrate all that we believe and hold in our hearts.  This would not be allowed if the religion was Islam, Buddhist or others.  The Church is specifically being persecuted. I have many other thoughts on this, but for now, I ask for you to pray, especially with the greatest Angel above, St. Michael.  Cast into hell Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.

Expect amazing!

Many times, especially in the throes of a bad day, bad week, bad month, do we struggle to see tomorrow? Sometimes, we even struggle to see today!

I've had some bad days in my life, a few in the past year.  Getting older is complicated! :) Sometimes, just living is complicated.  I can't see today, and I surely can't see tomorrow.  It's like a black curtain is pulled over my eyes, over my heart, and the pain of the darkness is unbearable.  I don't know how to get through it.  I had one of those nights recently. It was hard. It was painful. It was darkness...not just for me, but for my husband who helped see me through it.  It was bad.  But even when I was hurting, I was praying inside...please God, help me, help my husband.  I didn't give up, even though it might have seemed like it on the outside.  This was a difficult time for me, and it was, sadly but now gladly, the first time I've really prayed deeply in the middle of the raging storm.  I know how easy it would have been to slip, to give in, to the pain and the darkness. I've lived through it before, not because of my own weakness, but because it's an illness I've struggled with my entire life.  I knew this wasn't the illness like it has been before, but it reminded me so much of it.  I only survived before because of the Grace and Hand of God, even though I didn't know Him at the time like I do now. (continued............)

May: Novenas and Litanies in honor of Mary

I've added a new tab for May, in honor of Mary.  I love you, Mama.
http://lifeisanopenbooktest.blogspot.com/p/may-novena-to-mary.html

Happy May!

Oh what a great month that May is!  Spring might actually decide to stick, for one thing. But I love this month for many other reasons as well.



It's my birthday month. (YAY!)
My confirmation saint has her feast day this month.

And it's MARY month! The most beautiful woman ever born, the mother of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!  Catholics do not worship Mary, despite allegations of non-Catholics.  We simply ask for her assistance, and honor her as the mother of Jesus, the woman chosen to give birth to Him and raise Him.  We honor and respect our friends' mothers, and our own mothers; why wouldn't we honor Mary on an even higher level than that?

I plan to honor her with special devotions this month. If you need a jumpstart (beyond the Rosary), here's some info to get you started:
http://www.salvemariaregina.info/Prayers/May.html
http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/resources/prayers/devotions/to-the-blessed-virgin-mary/month-of-mary-may-devotions/
https://www.catholicculture.org/culture/liturgicalyear/overviews/months/05_1.cfm

For my new friend

A new acquaintance is going through some things, and I'd like to share the following thoughts with her (don't cry through this one! :) :) :) ) :  (let me know when you've seen this and I'll take it down if you like)

Thanks for your email last night!
Congrats on doing such a great job for your health! That's amazing, and shows what a strong person you truly are. I know it isn't easy.

You can call any rectory and meet with any priest. You don't have to go to the parish where you attend Mass. You can attend Mass, even, at any parish, not just your neighborhood/local one, so don't worry about 'belonging'.  Do your very best to get to Confession, and remember that God knows your heart and limitations. I'd sincerely recommend using your time at Confession or the rectory to visit with the priest about your life as a whole, along with your confession.  Do you visit the doctor for your follow up? They can also provide some information about other services that you might need.

I have met Jesus Christ in the Confessional many times. I urge you to do the same. He is there, waiting for you, but remember, He is ALWAYS with you.

God bless and keep you. I will keep you in my prayers, and ask others to do the same.

Isaiah 41:10

do not fear, for I am with you,

    do not be afraid, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you, I will help you,

    I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.

Jesus is looking for you

I read this recently and wanted to share it:
http://www.nwcatholic.org/columns/archbishop/609-jesus-is-looking-for-you

Divine Mercy Sunday-quick thoughts

Hallelujah and Amen!

What a wonderful amazing day today will be, with the Canonization of two Popes, including the first one I really remember as a child, Pope John Paul II!  It is also Divine Mercy Sunday.  Christ's Mercy and Compassion for us sinners is boundless.

May God bless you and rain down all His Mercies on your soul today!

St. Faustina, pray for us!

St. John Paul II, pray for us!

Live your faith out loud!

We often assume that others are just like us, that they think like us, that they act like us.  Whether we pray every day, or never, we think others are doing likewise.

However, since returning a year ago, I'm finding that isn't true.  Seriously, all along many friends and family had their faith practices under that bushel basket.

We don't want to worship on the street corner like the Pharisee, for his reward is on earth, and is for his own glory, not God's.  But we can't hide our faith under a basket! Let your light SHINE! Better yet, let HIS light shine!

For example, suppose I knew of a glorious banquet, filled with all the best food and drink, and it was available for everyone. If I didn't tell you about it, wouldn't you be hurt? Especially if you found out some of your friends and family were going, but they also didn't tell you?  Heaven is neither a feast, nor a banquet; words cannot describe Heaven, nor can any comparisons even come close. So, if you can, imagine missing the most perfect feast on earth, full of the richest foods (with no calories!), delicious drink, mesmerizing desserts, and perfect entertainment (and no, don't even suggest Miley or Biebs).  Your family, friends and acquaintances have been attending the banquet for years, but never told you about it. Maybe you'd seen a flyer for it, and mentioned it to someone....and that person said, "Oh yes! It's wonderful! I've enjoyed it for some time and go every day!"

Share the joy. Be an example. Live your faith, talk about your faith. If you can talk about how great your favorite player on your favorite team, or your favorite singer, or TV show, or book.....why can't you talk about your great Savior?

It might be in small ways, but we can do great things in small ways.  Compliment (and mean it!) someone's cross or crucifix necklace. I did this just last week, and it turns out the young lady isn't even baptized, but she IS searching. If I hadn't opened myself first up to God, then up to her, I wouldn't have known gotten to have a great conversation with her; I pray that I helped her in even a small way.

I see an acquaintance who attends my parish around time sometimes.  Do I surreptitiously ask how he liked the homily on Sunday? Or, if I missed it, what I missed? No! I'll ask right in front of everyone else; why not? It's a conversation. It also holds me accountable for who I am, and whose I am.

I think we need to see regular, ordinary people talking about their faith in conversation. Don't be ashamed. You never know when it will touch someone, or open up the floor for questions.

Pray the Rosary while waiting in line, or on the plane, or subway. Wear your medals, your crucifix.  It's a fine line, but you can find it. If God and Faith are part of your every day, every moment, life, then there won't be that distinction between where your Christianity ends and you begin. It becomes one.

Remember, the devil isn't just working on 'us'

Sometimes, we do all the things we should do
Pray all the prayers we are supposed to pray.
Honor God in all His Glory
Love others with the heart He has given us.

And we get slapped in the face.
Kicked in the side.
Spit on the head.
Tripped down the stairs of emotion.

Why? Why? Why?

If the devil can't get to you
Through you...
If you've resisted his lies
Resisted his temptations.

He will work on the ones
Next to you
In front of you
Behind you.

He will try to get to you
through them
They might tempt you
or hurt you in your weakest spot.

Maybe they can't resist
the chance to put you down,
To be mean or hateful
They don't know how to be strong.

It's hard.  It hurts.
Pray for them.

It's sad and it's difficult.
For you.
But more difficult and sad for them.
Pray for them.

You've not always held your tongue.
You've not always been kind.
Now you've welcomed the Lord into your heart.
He gives you strength

The actions or words that have hurt you
may have been their one mistake of the week.
Their moment of weakness is directed at you
Because you can bear it.

Another person, one who is weak,
One who doesn't know the love of Christ
And His Sacrifice
might crumble under the assault or temptation.

Pray for them.

Rejoice in the challenge that you
have been given
for with Him, you can do
All things.

Good Friday

What a truly Good Friday it was!  I'm kind of still processing the scriptures and events of the last few days. But I want to share with you the 'life' part of it.

Last night, we attended Holy Thursday Mass at my 'weekday' parish, and today, Good Friday again at that same parish.  It's a traditional Catholic Church setting/architecture, and is so beautiful.  We are so blessed in my diocese to have such amazing priests at so many parishes. I have rarely encountered one that wasn't wonderful.  But these two priests at this parish; Monsignor is elderly, but sharp as a razor. He just needs help with the steps. His heart must be made of gold. He reminds me so much of my paternal Grandpa, who was a huge influence on my spiritual life.  The other priest is younger (yet older than I am), but inspires me so much in his homilies and confession.  I also attended the Stations of the Cross, as well as praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet for the first day of the Novena, with the parish.  I also had a word with Monsignor afterwards, which is always a delight.  It was also delightful to see a hundred people waiting for confessions today, especially since this parish has them daily.

A few fun things happened today, as well.

After the service, I walked with my husband outside as he went back to work. While there, a gentleman was kind of lingering around the bottom of the 10 or so steps out front, looking around. No one spoke to him, until I called to him, asking if I could help him.  He slowly walked up the steps to me, and asked if there was a priest....well, 'grunted' would be closer to accurate.  I told him about confessions, but that the priests would be there all day.  He said that he went to confession 24/7.....but he was clearly wanted a Catholic priest. I said that Father XXXX and Monsignor XXXX would be glad to hear his confession. He recognized Monsignor's name, and said he'd talked to him before. I of course complimented Monsignor.  I then asked if I could help him with anything, and he said no.  He then kept saying he went to confession anytime, any place; I did not clarify it with him. It wasn't the time. We spoke for another moment or two, and he started to leave.  He continued speaking as he walked away, but I don't think he was unhappy with my response to him.  You see, this parish has many homeless people around, as well as a nearby 'entertainment' district, and is in the heart of the city.  This man had a mohawk with long hair (hard to explain), a leather vest, dark sunglasses, perhaps he was a biker, or had been...basically the opposite of everyone who had just walked out of the church.  My point is this: don't judge.  People are people. We all have the same basic needs.  This man enriched my life for having been in it just for a few minutes.  Please pray for him.  Let's call him Frank.

As I got in my car, I pondered how if your heart was open to God, He placed you in circumstances, wherever you are.  I still ask Him what He wants me to do, but I leave my heart open to Him and His Desires, for the Spirit to move me where He wants me.  

Shortly, I decided to take a somewhat different route home, just for a change of pace, for a few blocks.  I had decided to do this before I even made the two turns towards the intersection where my route would begin to differ.  For the first time ever, I saw a young man with a sign asking for money at that corner. I've been through that corner 50 times (or more) in the past year, and not once has there been someone asking for money. But this time, the time I would need to be in that left turn lane, a young man was there. Well, I'm listening, God!  I got a dollar out for him, and decided to do more. I wasn't going just to hand it to him; I knew I'd be at the light for a few minutes since I had missed the turn signal due to the traffic line, and would be there for a few minutes.  I asked his name (CJ), and his plans.  He told me he had a job waiting for him half a country away, but needed to get there.  I asked how I could pray for him; he was caught off guard, and happy to answer that he was needing to get a job and get to his job.  I then asked him to pray for me.  I don't know that I was there just to give him some monetary help, but perhaps the spiritual support he needed.  I knew I should have gotten some more rosaries yesterday, but I guess I wasn't listening very well!  Once again, though, people are people. They aren't just homeless or beggars or rough characters........

(PS: I also offered a man and woman a ride the other evening after I had eaten at a chain restaurant; they were walking out of the parking lot, but had been eating in the restaurant. My husband was glad that they declined when I told him this!  However, that's the first time in 10+ years I've offered strangers a ride, and do NOT recommend it 99.999% of the time.  But perhaps God just wanted me to ask.  Yes, God.)

Lenten reflection, as we finish Lent 2014

The end of Lent is approaching, and it's a good time to take a look at what I've done this Lent, right or wrong, good or bad, to honor the Lord and this season.

I gave up chocolate. I didn't think that through! I was thinking Reeses, M&Ms, that sort of thing....but did y'all know that there is chocolate in hot cocoa? ;) It didn't occur to ME until the 3rd sip.... And in EVERY DESSERT THAT IS MADE during Lent? ;)  I slipped one time, with a sip of hot cocoa on a freezing morning while out of town on business (I don't drink coffee often, but when I do it's with chocolate creamer. Guess what else I ended up giving up for Lent? Yep, coffee!).  I somehow managed to make it through Lent without once having meat on Friday.  That's a bit more difficult while on the road with limited choices in restaurants, but I made it.  Didn't hurt me to go a bit hungry.  This might be my first year without 'slipping' on the meat abstinence.  We went to a big pre-game party that included FREE burgers, brats and hot dogs on the local MLB team home opener.....it was on a Friday.  Boy did that smell good!  I went again a few days later, and was able to have a dog at the game.  It didn't taste near as good as I was imagining it on the previous Friday.(Much like sins, don't you think?  They aren't near as rewarding as we think they will be, even for the moment.....)  (more after the break)----------------->

Feeling still in the Lord

Thanks for sticking with me!  I haven't felt very literary, not even 'internet literary' lately. My thoughts have been contained mostly to a few words on a Facebook status or two. I've even been silent on my favorite Catholic forum.

I haven't been suffering from a dryness, but more quietness, stillness.  I've still had thoughts during my prayer and Faith life, but I haven't put them to paper.  Perhaps it's the Lenten season.

In the past year (14 months actually), I've had moments of being overwhelmed by all the Graces and Blessings I was receiving from God.  Other times, it's been more quiet.

The 5th Joyful Mystery: The finding of the child Jesus in the Temple

The Joyful Mysteries are truly a joy to meditate upon.  These first five significant events can teach us so much, especially about being childlike and receiving God's love.  Today, I'll share with you my thoughts on this morning's meditation on the 5th Joyful Mystery: The Finding of Jesus in the Temple.

Luke 2: 41-51 Now his parents went to Jerusalem every year at the feast of the passover. And when he was twelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem after the custom of the feast. And when they had fulfilled the days, as they returned, the child Jesus tarried behind in Jerusalem; and Joseph and his mother knew not of it. But they, supposing him to have been in the company, went a day's journey; and they sought him among their kinsfolk and acquaintance. And when they found him not, they turned back again to Jerusalem, seeking him And it came to pass, that after three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions. And all that heard him were astonished at his understanding and answers. And when they saw him, they were amazed: and his mother said unto him: "Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing". And he said unto them: "How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business?" And they understood not the saying which he spake unto them. And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart. 

My meditation on this Bible passage brought me to these thoughts this morning.

Of course Jesus was obedient to His parents on earth, Mary and Joseph.  But His Father called Him to share His Wisdom with those around Him, with those that needed it, and Him.  Even though Mary and Joseph know He is God, our Savior, they must have been concerned, if not worried, about Him when they were apart. Jesus knew that He must obey God, and was teaching us to do so, even at the expense of His parents' concern.

The part that I focused on this morning was this: Jesus was not actively disobeying His parents Mary and Joseph, but was obeying His Father, our Father.

It seems like right now, our country is forcing us to choose between obeying our country, or obeying our Father.  Yes, Jesus said:  Matthew 22:21 ...Then he saith to them: Render therefore to Caesar the things that are Caesar's; and to God, the things that are God's.

Father, I pray to You to help me to remember that I am Yours above all things, above all people, above all nations.  Give me the strength to give to You, and You alone, what is Yours and due You.  All that I have, all that I am, all that I can be, is Yours.  Help me to understand and be strong for Your Desires for me. Give me the wisdom and knowledge needed to explain to others when I seem to be dissenting from my country's popular opinion.  Father, I want to be obedient to You above all else, even when the world around me tells me differently. My heart is Yours; my body is Yours.  I must serve You above all else; not an ant on the ground, or a ruler of any nation, can supersede Your morals and demands that You have put upon us.  Thank you for the nation, Father, in which I live and dwell while on this earth.  I pray that it may become even greater as a servant of You, O Lord.  I pray for You to be in the hearts of our leaders and our fellow citizens, to see the righteous way of Your Path.

Hail Mary, full of Grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

For more on the Joyful Mysteries:
http://www.rosary-center.org/joyful.htm
http://www.theholyrosary.org/joyfulmysteries
http://wdtprs.com/blog/2006/10/5th-joyful-mystery-the-finding-in-the-temple/
http://www.pinterest.com/scarlette81/the-rosarythe-joyful-mysteries/

Stained glass

While at Mass today, I had the opportunity to ponder upon the beautiful stained glass I was surrounded by at a beautiful parish.  I've been very blessed to have visited and seen some beautiful artwork, including stained glass, in the last few months.  Today, and many of the days I've been at Mass, the sun was shining through the windows, creating even a more brilliant piece of art.  These pictures I've shared here are from the internet, and alas, not from seeing them in person.



When you let the sun shine through, it becomes more stunning.

When you let the Son shine through you, you become more brilliant. When His Light shines, you are even more beautiful, starting from the inside out.  Your face becomes a beacon for His Love; your joy is in the warm glow of His Love.

If I do not share His Love, His Light, His Joy in my heart, then I am dim, dull, and muddied, much like stained glass appears to be when it's dark.


Peace be with you and may you be guided by the Holy Spirit on your journey.

Uncomfortable...

I think I make some people uncomfortable, with my renewed faith and spirituality. It's almost more like a 'new' faith and spirituality, because it's nothing like I experienced before when I was a 'faithful' Catholic.

I don't go around saying how great I am because I'm following God, nor do I spend my entire day speaking about how great God is. But if something comes up in conversation, and it feels 'natural' to mention that I prayed for something, or what I did the day before, which happened to be faith-related, I'm not going to hold it back.

Why do I think it makes people uncomfortable?

For a friend

Why me, God? Why?  I follow You, I pray to You, I honor You, I praise You. I thank You, I glorify You.  My God, why have you forsaken ME?!!!??

Why not me, God? I know You are by my side, even when I can't see or feel You.  Help me to remember that when things are bad, that they could be worse. You are there cradling me, protecting me, from even worse things happening.  Why do you make it so hard, Father? Help me to understand that even when I cannot see the reasons behind what is happening in my life, that YOU, my Lord, are in control.  Every breath I take is sanctioned and given by You, o Lord.

Let my pain and suffering not be for naught; may it teach me to find You in all things. May I bear the pain and disappointment of this world; let my suffering relieve someone else's suffering: for that mother about to say goodbye to her infant; for the child grieving the loss of a parent; for someone who received bad news about his health.  Let my suffering, even for a moment, relieve theirs and give them a moment of peace when they need it most. I know you are there; let the suffering see through their pain to You.

Father, forgive me my sins committed while in this pain and suffering.  I try to be strong, but it's almost more than I can take. Let me find the strength You have given me.

Psalm 22

Plea for Deliverance from Suffering and Hostility

To the leader: according to The Deer of the Dawn. A Psalm of David.

1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

    Why are you so far from helping me, from the words of my groaning?

2 O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer;

    and by night, but find no rest.

3 Yet you are holy,

    enthroned on the praises of Israel.

Forgiveness and anger

One thing that I try to remember is that even when I stumble, I have to forgive myself, and if others hurt me, I have to forgive them as well.  God has forgiven me, and if I withhold my forgiveness from myself, I'm saying that my forgiveness is bigger than His. That's wrong.  No matter how much I've sinned against, or hurt others, it hurts God more than anyone else.

That works for anger, too. It's easy to be angry, isn't it? Especially when we feel wronged, even when our anger is just, righteous.  When you hold onto your anger, you are hurting yourself as much or probably more than whoever you are angry with. You live with and feel that anger 24 hours a day; the subject of that anger does not.

I hurt when my loved ones hurt; when my children hurt, I ache even that much deeper, because the ones I love so much are hurting and suffering. I feel angry at the person that hurt them!  I'm sad to say that I've wanted to wring a few necks over the years; I never did, but I felt like it.  We are God's children; we are His creations.  When someone hurts us, He is angry.

When we are angry, give it to God. Let Him deal with it for us.  If it's right that we should be angry, He will have more righteous, just anger, than we could ever manage.  If we are being angry unjustly, then we need to let it go as well.  He will take care of it, either way, whether it's in our hearts, or serving justice.

I do like the book of James:

James 1:19-21

New Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (NRSVCE)

19 You must understand this, my beloved:[a] let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for your anger does not produce God’s righteousness. 21 Therefore rid yourselves of all sordidness and rank growth of wickedness, and welcome with meekness the implanted word that has the power to save your souls.

How far have you come?

I have come so far, but I have so far to go!

It's easy to concentrate on how far we have to go to be where we want to be. We generally want to achieve perfection, especially in prayer and in our relationship to the Lord. For me, I tend to look at far I have to go, instead of how far I've made it. I went up this mountain in Colorado; it was gradual and winding until I made it to the top, much like life's journey.

Why did God become man? Teach me how to love, teach me how to live

Why did God become man?  The quickest answer we usually say is, "To die for our sins." That is true, but that's not the only reason.  (more.....)

Grace before....reading?

Read this earlier on streetevangelization.com:

A quote from GK Chesterton (whom I hope to read more of this year)
~~~~~~~

“You say grace before meals. All right. But I say grace before the concert and the opera, and grace before the play and pantomime, and grace before I open a book, and grace before sketching, painting, swimming, fencing, boxing, walking, playing, dancing and grace before I dip the pen in the ink.” – G.K. Chesterton
~~~~~~~

Father, please help me to remember to pray to You in all things, and thank You for Your Grace and any talents I have received from You.  Let everything I do give Glory to You, o Great One.  Amen!!

First time doing public evangelization!

Today was my first day being a part of the St. Paul's Street Evangelization (www.streetevangelization.com) . Be clear: I'm not sharing my story for myself; I'm sharing it to encourage all of us to do this, or something similar. If I can do it, anyone can do it; it might be to share the Good News vocally, or pray for those who are. Find the talents God has given you, and let Him glorify those talents for His Good! I have lots of words....thank you Lord for helping me to use them in such an amazing way.

We went to a local 'soup kitchen' for the homeless adjacent to a local Cathedral. I was soooooooooooo nervous! Last night, I was sitting and talking with my husband, and had tears coming down my face. What if I mess up? What if I make a mistake? I hadn't felt nervous like this about something since my children were born. Sure I've been nervous, when starting a new job, or something like that, but it wasn't an 'important', or 'life changing' nervous. I prayed, prayed, prayed, and had great support from my husband.

I woke up, not completely rested, but raring to go. We arrived early, got our table set up outside the dining room area of the 'soup kitchen' (but it's more regular meals, than soup). We prayed the Rosary together before the doors opened. I was a little skeptical of how many would actually want a Rosary. Most were there because they were hungry for food; little did I know how many were hungry spiritually, for a one on one connection. A few came in to us pretty quickly, even before the announcement that we were there (we were in an adjacent hallway). Our team leader/head of the local chapter was immediately approached by a young man with a lot of strong ideas and opinions, and kept him busy for quite a while. That left us 'newbies' (2 of us). My husband was there, but he was just along for the ride, so to speak, as he isn't comfortable sharing with others. He was our silent prayer warrior, reading the Bible and praying the Rosary as we did our 'work'. However, he was even pulled in to join me in prayer when there was a long line of people wanting to get a Rosary from me, and the other 2 were busy.

I've only ever offered prayer in public once, last year, out of the blue, at the bookstore.

Be true.

Some people work so hard to make others think that their lives are wonderful, perfect, and how great they are. Why? It falls flat upon even distant inspection.  

Be yourself. Be true. You don't have to prove anything to anyone else.  Don't look to others for affirmation about who you are. 

BE who you are.  You'll find the happiness that you are trying to convince others that you have.  The people that want you to prove to them how awesome you are, aren't worth the time or trouble. <3 

You know what? You are already loved.

Prayer of St. Augustine: Too late have I loved you

Amen! Amen! Amen! Thank you, Lord, my Rock and my Salvation.

PRAYER OF SAINT AUGUSTINE OF HIPPO
Finding God After A Long Search

Too late have I loved you,
O Beauty so ancient,
O Beauty so new.
Too late have I loved you!
You were within me but I was outside myself,
and there I sought you!
In my weakness I ran after the beauty of the things you have made.
You were with me,
and I was not with you.
The things you have made kept me from you,
the things which would have no being
unless they existed in you!

When things don't go as planned....look at the blessings you receive instead

It was our anniversary (Hi husband! I love you!!), and the Archdiocese was holding a special Mass to commemorate World Marriage Day (a day celebrated the Sunday before Valentine's Day, since 1981; so don't take it as anything but a celebration of marriage, and not new with the current marriage debate in this country).  We were truly looking forward to attending, especially since it had been a full year since we returned to God and the Faith, and it landed directly on our anniversary.

As often is the case, weather can turn on a dime, and it did.  The quick flurries forecasted turned into a bit more, and traffic reports from a friend confirmed what concerned us: the roads were slick, and travel was at least temporarily, treacherous.  Sighhhhhhhhhhh.  We resigned ourselves to attending Sunday Mass at our own parish nearby, and watched a favorite movie together (Ocean's 11).

I had another thought...perhaps we could attend the Cathedral that evening instead.

My 'Facebook' announcement when we were returning to the Faith and to God

I posted this when we returned to the Faith last year.  Before our return a year ago, you could find (what seemed to me) funny, sarcastic, sometimes PG-13 rated humor on my timeline, mostly in shared pictures from pages that I followed. I also did my share of complaining. Once returning, I couldn't share those anymore, and didn't want to be a complainer. After all, what could I complain about? God's Love and Mercy supersedes all!!  I didn't even find them that funny anymore.  Here's my post regarding that:

Changes.....

Friends,

Some of you may have noticed a change in my recent Facebook posts.  This is, I hope, a reflection of the change in my real life.  Some (most) of the changes here on Facebook are what I'm NOT saying, things I would have said or posted before.

I’m so filled with Joy that we have returned to the Catholic faith, and members of a wonderful parish (Holy Trinity) after falling away due to some major conflicts we had with our first parish in the City.  That is our fault as well, and we allowed ourselves to be pulled away in our moments of weakness.  We are blessed to have now a parish that practices the Catholic faith as it is meant to be, if one is to be Catholic.  I like to think that our loved ones who have went before us, have prayed for our return to the Faith (and perhaps, even loved ones still on earth).  I know that my grandparents, my in-laws, and many others are happy that we have started to find our way again, or should I say, His Way.  I’m definitely not saying that everyone has to be Catholic; I’m saying that’s what God intends for me, and I’m 100% sure on that.  He has blessed me with challenges to share my experience and faith with others; it’s easy to do with strangers, or fellow parishioners. But I need to share that with those I love and care about as well.

If I had a feast, and it was open to everyone who knew about it......

Reversion of a Collapsed Catholic

So, what were you doing one year ago?

February 5, 2013:
(while this posting does include emphasis on my own Reconciliation in my return to God and the Faith, it's a conversion/reversion story, not one focused on the Sacrament)

I'd been away from the Church and from God for maybe 10 years, attending Mass only when required for a funeral, wedding. I rarely even attended with family at family functions. I couldn't attend in good faith, knowing I was living was apart from Christ. I couldn't receive the Eucharist, and I had no desire for confession over the many years.  I didn't even attend Protestant services, because while there is also good in other religions, I deep down knew I was supposed to be Catholic (as revealed to me many years earlier, from God; your mileage may vary).

Our oldest son had emergency surgery for a spontaneous collapsed lung a month earlier. Despite him being a young adult, I was just as scared as if he'd been 5 years old.  As I prayed in the nearby waiting room (what? prayed? Yep, even as a sinner, fallen away Catholic, I still knew God was there, but that I wasn't there for God; I wasn't praying for myself, but for our son), I thought of all my relatives who I believed were in Heaven, or at the least, on their way there. I pictured each of them in my mind, and asked each one of them to pray for our son (as well as every saint I could think of...which wasn't many). I saw my beloved grandparents, friends and other family members....including my aunt, Shirley.

Now, my Aunt Shirley had been in a wheelchair for over 20 years when she died a few years ago.  She was in a lot of pain, and suffered greatly.  That's how I always remembered her, when she crossed my mind over the years. But not that day.  That day, my beautiful Aunt Shirley had a smile on her face, and walked towards me from the 'line' I was visualizing.  She had such joy on her face like I don't ever remember seeing.  It was a very spiritual moment, because I felt that she was telling me it was going to be okay (it was), and that she was happy and healthy once again, in God's arms. Wow. I didn't consciously think about that...it just happened.  Our son recovered fully from the lung collapse, praise God.

The few weeks after his surgery, I seemed to be struggling.  I guess I was struggling against God. I knew I wasn't worthy (I'm still not). But I felt Him calling me. My life was 'okay'...my husband had recently received full time employment; our kids were in college, and I was doing okay. But deep down, I knew. I was living in fear. I was afraid to die.  The pathway I was on was easy and clear, and the destination was not a good one.  I didn't realize the fear I had in my heart and soul until it was gone.

Beauty

For my husband:

Silver strands

                swirling from the sky,

                                sparkling, cascading,

        dancing diamond dust, breath of angels

                   Each crystal a hymn of 

                                      Heavenly rejoicing

floating, falling, lifting in a breeze

            each flake - a wish

               every drop - a dream 

Comes a glistening Gift from God

         swirling, softly, caressing the soul

                           nourishing the spirit

                                       Whispering, sweetly 

              His consuming Love.

cmg 2-4-2014 copyright 2014

Which to choose, which to choose?

I've been given a great Gift, and it's so awesome. I love being Catholic! There are so many dimensions to one Catholic Church.  We can choose to be a member of the Church only, and we still reap so many benefits to being Catholic and partaking of the Sacraments (Reconciliation, Eucharist, Anointing....all available on a regular basis!). We also are blessed with lay-organizations that we can join; small parishes might have the Knights of Columbus and the Altar Society (or another women's group), and hopefully a bible study group; some parishes have schools, and with them, parent organizations.  Then, at larger parishes and dioceses, many more organized groups, such as Militia Immaculata, Legion of Mary, Daughters of Isabella, men's groups, and various other national/local groups.

Right now, I'm feeling called to explore the different groups and options, in order to grow my Faith, and to share it with others, as well as support them. But which one? I want to give my best to whichever group I decide to focus on. (God comes before ALL things, including service and social groups, prayer groups, or any other sub-group.)  I know I don't have to choose just one. I wonder how I'll know where I'm supposed to be. I'm going to trust God to guide me.  It also occurred to me tonight, that perhaps I'm not *supposed* to choose just one.  As mentioned, it's a great thing to have so many supporting groups to choose from, but it's easy for the groups to be 'divided', and not interact with each other.  Maybe His Plan for me will be to belong to more than one or two, and participate, as my time is pretty flexible right now.  When people get involved in one group, tunnel vision can strangle, or impede, growth. Plus, sometimes we might outgrow a group, or our focus or perspective changes. But if people aren't aware of other groups, they might just drift away, instead of re-focusing.

Created by a Carpenter

We know a little about Jesus as a child, and of course, a lot about Jesus as a 30-something adult. What about in between?

If I'm correct, Jesus was a carpenter with his dad, Joseph. I thought about how great it would be to discover something, or own something that Jesus made during that time!  Can you imagine having a table, or a carved 'something' from Jesus? Surely, many people owned wood items that He made. How we would TREASURE 'it'!  They would be greater than anything by Michelangelo, da Vinci, Wagner, Beethoven put together.

But do we treasure each other in the same way we would a table or a chair by Jesus, the Man? God created us even more carefully, each cell of our being, than a human carpenter (which many would have considered Jesus at the time, before knowing He was the Messiah) would have his items.

Let us view each other as His Creation.  More care and thought was put into each of us than an 'item' ever could be.  He knew our voice before our first breath.  He knew our hair color, our fingerprint, our personality, before we even knew ourselves.  Look upon each other as a great masterpiece, something priceless....which we are.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you Lord for creating us exactly how You want us. Help us to find our true potential that we may not have figured out yet.  Reveal Yourself to us in ways that each of us can understand, and show us how to share You with others.  Thank you for all your gifts and creations. Thank you Holy Spirit for the signs you have shared with me.

Thank you Father for this day, and the joys that we have received. Thank you for the trials that we are going through.  Forgive us, Lord, our shortcomings and sins.

St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle.  Mama Mary, be at our side, and help us to love the Lord as you did, and to say 'Yes' to Him.  St. Joseph, pray for us.

For those suffering from the flu...here are some saints that can be with you during your suffering:

• Agathius - headache
• Agrippina of Mineo - bacterial diseases, and bacterial infections
• Apollonia - toothache
• Augustine of Hippo - sore eyes
• Bernardino of Siena - chest problems, lung problems,
• Blaise - ailments of the throat
• Crescentinus – headache
• Cyriacus - eye disease
• Denise -against headaches

From "The Imitation of Christ"

O good Jesus, shine on me with the brightness of Your eternal light and expel all darkness from the mansions of my heart. Restrain my many wandering thoughts and destroy the temptations that assail me.

Use your strength in fighting for me, and suppress those wicked beasts - those seductive sensual desires of mine. Establish peace in me and let fulsome praise of You resound throughout those sacred precincts found in a clear conscience.

Command the winds and tempests to obey. To the sea say "Be still" and to Aquilo, the north wind, "stop gusting! and there will be a great calm."

Choose Life

Thank you Lord for the life You have given us.  

We pray that all those whom You have given life receive it, and are born into a world that becomes better with them in it.  We pray for all those unborn children who were not given a chance at life. We pray for all the children born who do not receive the love of their parents. Hear our prayers, Lord, for the mothers and fathers who make the decision to abort their babies.  Show them the way to Your side, that they may see the Hope and Love You have for each of us. Show them the life choices that are better for all.  Let us not heap one sin upon another.  All of us are sinners, Father.  Let us not condemn each other for our different sins, but help each other to rise up against all sins.  Forgive us our sins when we call on you, Savior of man.  

We praise You, we bless You, we thank You, God Almighty.

Thank you God, for my birthmother Penny choosing life, and all mothers who choose life, and for the family that was chosen for me.

The more you give

I wrote recently about finding "Gloria" and how that changed my day.

Looking back, it did more than that. It changed me.  It helped me.  I wish I could find the people that I met that day, and tell them how they, by letting me help them that day, made a difference in MY life.  I'm sure they left that day thinking how I made a difference in theirs, but it was my heart that changed.

The more you give, the more you receive. By helping this couple, I found more 'glory' in my heart. I found love, compassion.  I received peace and joy.

Did I intend to receive and find anything? No, but that's how it happens. If you give in ORDER to receive, you will not get the full abundance of joy and peace, if any.  I've shared the story of finding Gloria that day, in a day where I needed it. I don't share that story in order to lift myself up of being a do-gooder.  I share it so that others might do the same thing and feel that warmth that you get back.  I make it clear that I did it with no intention of receiving thanks from the elderly couple, or anyone else.  I didn't want them even to know it was me. But God had other plans.  By finding out the woman's name was Gloria fulfilled His plan for me for that day, and the days since.

I wrote this post, and then did a search for some Bible verses. Apparently, at some point in my life, I've read or heard this part of Scripture, but I didn't recall it; thank you Lord, praise you Jesus, bless you Spirit, for showing me to live it.

2 Corinthians 9:5-15

5 So I thought it necessary to urge the brothers to go on ahead to you, and arrange in advance for this bountiful gift that you have promised, so that it may be ready as a voluntary gift and not as an extortion.
6 The point is this: the one who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and the one who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. 7 Each of you must give as you have made up your mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 8 And God is able to provide you with every blessing in abundance, so that by always having enough of everything, you may share abundantly in every good work. 9 As it is written,
“He scatters abroad, he gives to the poor;
    his righteousness[b] endures forever.”
10 He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness.[c] 11 You will be enriched in every way for your great generosity, which will produce thanksgiving to God through us; 12 for the rendering of this ministry not only supplies the needs of the saints but also overflows with many thanksgivings to God. 13 Through the testing of this ministry you glorify God by your obedience to the confession of the gospel of Christ and by the generosity of your sharing with them and with all others, 14 while they long for you and pray for you because of the surpassing grace of God that he has given you. 15 Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!

Mother of Sweetness prayer

From: http://www.catholicdoors.com/prayers/english3/p02365.htm

Mother of Sweetness,
the faith and love with which thou giveth thy Divine Son
urges me to open my heart to the love of thy heart
so that the sweetness of thy Mother's love may touch me deeply.
May the sweetness of thy heart cause me
to share with others thy love for Jesus.

When I meditate on the mysteries of Jesus Christ
in the most Holy Rosary,
ever-Virgin Mother Mary,
reveal to me the sweetness of thine own Immaculate Heart.

Amen.
~~~~~

MARIAN PRAYERS OF
SAINT LOUIS DE MONTFORT # 2
(A.D. 1673-1716)

In the Arms of Your Mercy

O Mary, my Queen,
I cast myself in the arms of your mercy.
I place my soul and body
in your blessed care
and under your special protection
from this world.
I entrust to you all my hopes and consolations,
all my anguish and misery,
my life and the end of my life.
Through your most holy intercession
and through your merits,
grant that all my works may be directed and carried out
in accord with your will
and the will of your Divine Son.

Amen.

Silence!

I wrote this in December, but had not set it to publish, as I thought I had some work to do on it. In the meantime, Pope Francis beat me to the punch!
http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/value-silence-encourages-pope/
Silence “helps us to discover our mystery: our mystery of encountering the Lord, our mystery of walking through life with the Lord,” encouraged Pope Francis.

The Pontiff then concluded his homily in the chapel of the Saint Martha guesthouse by praying that “the Lord would give us the grace to love silence, to seek it and to have a heart guarded by the ‘cloud’ of silence.”

~~~~~~~~~~

When was the last time you actually learned something by talking?  Most things we have learned have come by listening. Real listening requires being silent.  Not just being silent as you think of your next thought or comment, but active listening.  It seems to me that many of us RUN from silence.  What are we afraid of?

I used to avoid silence.  The television was always on when I was home, and the radio was on in the car. I fell asleep with the TV on. I do sometimes listen to my radio as I fall asleep though (Catholic Answers, or the Drew Mariani show, or a Catholic podcast).  I like to pray the Rosary as I lay down to rest, and will sometimes fall asleep to it.  Recently, my husband and I drove 5 hours without the radio on at all.  What an unexpected joy that was! After all these years, we still had plenty to share with each other. That wouldn't have happened without silence.

I love Mass. I love the hymns and songs, of praise, thanksgiving, penance and such. But where is the silence? In our parish, it seems non-existent much of the time.  Not before Mass begins, not after, and very little during. I miss it.  The silence is one reason I enjoy the weekday Masses I attend.  Even though I miss singing hymns and prayers, I miss the silence more on Sundays.

I pray to increase the silence in my head and heart, so that I can hear Him.  I think that's what many of us are hiding from when we fill our lives with 'noise'.  We don't want to hear what He has to say.  We are so afraid of His (righteous) judgment that we insulate ourselves from it.

The Rosary

I'd like to make this year, 2014, my year of the Rosary. I want to learn more about the Rosary; I want to use the Rosary as a beginning to praying better. I want to think of the Rosary as a 'crown of roses' for the mother of our Savior, of God.  I want to meditate deeper on the mysteries of the Rosary, as they reflect the life of Christ from birth, to death, to resurrection, to ascension.  I want to draw closer to Mary, and in turn, closer to Christ.


If anyone who reads this wants or needs a Rosary, I will send you one that is blessed by a local priest. It won't be fancy, but it will be sent with love.

Father, I ask you to help me become more devout, more holy, as I pray the Rosary even more this year.

http://www.ewtn.com/expert/expertfaqframe.asp?source=/vexperts/conference.htm
http://thevirginmary.com.au/how-to-pray-the-holy-rosary/

FIFTEEN PROMISES OF THE BLESSED VIRGIN
TO CHRISTIANS WHO FAITHFULLY PRAY THE ROSARY

1. To all those who shall pray my Rosary devoutly, I promise my special protection and great graces.
2. Those who shall persevere in the recitation of my Rosary will receive some special grace.
3. The Rosary will be a very powerful armor against hell; it will destroy vice, deliver from sin and dispel heresy.
4. The rosary will make virtue and good works flourish, and will obtain for souls the most abundant divine mercies. It will draw the hearts of men from the love of the world and its vanities, and will lift them to the desire of eternal things. Oh, that souls would sanctify themselves by this means.
5. Those who trust themselves to me through the Rosary will not perish.
6. Whoever recites my Rosary devoutly reflecting on the mysteries, shall never be overwhelmed by misfortune. He will not experience the anger of God nor will he perish by an unprovided death. The sinner will be converted; the just will persevere in grace and merit eternal life.
7. Those truly devoted to my Rosary shall not die without the sacraments of the Church.
8. Those who are faithful to recite my Rosary shall have during their life and at their death the light of God and the plenitude of His graces and will share in the merits of the blessed.
9. I will deliver promptly from purgatory souls devoted to my Rosary.
10. True children of my Rosary will enjoy great glory in heaven.
11. What you shall ask through my Rosary you shall obtain.
12. To those who propagate my Rosary I promise aid in all their necessities.
13. I have obtained from my Son that all the members of the Rosary Confraternity shall have as their intercessors, in life and in death, the entire celestial court.
14. Those who recite my Rosary faithfully are my beloved children, the brothers and sisters of Jesus Christ.
15. Devotion to my Rosary is a special sign of predestination.

Mary with Rosary: http://fineartamerica.com/featured/mary-with-white-rosary-beads-denise-daffara.html